April 29, 2019

DISCLAIMER- READ to END! I used to love the tanning beds. From 18-23, I reasoned that tan skin was skinnier than white skin and Lord knows I had #cellulite. The tanning bed was a quick fix in my opinion for some cottage cheese legs and my share of the freshman 15. Two weeks ago, my 4yo found a spot on my rear (insert buttocks) and since then- my life as been a whirlwind. From a biopsy to a confirmed diagnosis and from a trip to MUSC to a body scan, doctors have been conflicted over what the spot actually is and the way to handle it: other than the simple fact it has malignancy present and surgery needs to get it out of my body. This summer I’ll be 35 and to have the word “melanoma” thrown around to an extremely olive complected girl has been a surprise to say the least. It’s been a waiting game- from miscommunication to having biopsies go back and forth to doctors here and in Charleston, I sit and I wait for what the best treatment plan is going to be. I’m going to be 100% fine. God revealed that to be from the beginning of this process. And through the burdened knees and support of my village and some amazing doctors- I believe that whole heartedly. But then there is the waiting: the time before God answers. Just like Hannah, who sat and watched others around her receive the one thing she desperately wanted-a child. Throughout history, there is a common thread that weaves us women together- it’s simple- we see God giving something we want to other women. We see Him blessing them in the very area he is withholding from us. Maybe it is a baby for some, a spouse for others- a job, material success, a better body- a healthy one. We start to question- if God is good, why isn’t He being good to me in this? The honesty comes. We feel set aside and we feel suspicious and we are left with two options- be like Hannah or not be like her. In her wait, Hannah chose to lean in. She had an unflinching Faith- so fervent in prayer she was even accused of being drunk. But she remained steady, strong and unwavering. And just like he always does, God showed up- in His perfect timing- with Samuel. It’s going to be a tough few days while we wait for next steps. (Read On below)